Evolve Your Hair to 'Attract a Mate'!

by Sidra M. S. Vitale

Well, that's the stupidest load of baloney I've heard since the last stupid load of baloney.

Canadian anthropologist Peter Frost is quoted in this article stating, "[h]uman hair and eye colour are unusually diverse in northern and eastern Europe (and their) origin over a short span of evolutionary time indicates some kind of selection".

Women evolved blond hair and blue eyes to stand out from other women? Be real.

If they did that, why doesn't it happen more often in areas with food shortages and fewer men than women? (As an unrelated criticism, the article makes it sounds like women get up in the morning and say, "I think I'll evolve new hair, today. Then Thaggy will notice me." No, we only do that now, thanks to the magic of Miss Clairol.)

Did it ever occur to Frost that Northern and Eastern Europe were the only parts of the world where a mutation to lose pigment in your hair, skin, and eyes would not be such a dangerous one, and could therefore stay in the species? It's not like melanin protects people from, oh, the sun or anything. Have you never seen an Irishman burning to a crisp when they visit the tropics?

This is so insulting. Women evolved blonde hair to attract a mate. If you believe that, then you'll believe it's why we have tits, too. Not to feed babies -- being a mammal is just a side effect. It's To Attract a Mate(tm).

Once, again, we have a failure to overlook the obvious -- men, Cro-Magnon, Neanderthal, or otherwise -- will do the dance o' loooove with any woman who offers.

Women don't have difficulties attracting a mate. Men do.

Copyright © 2006 by Sidra M. S. Vitale

02/09/07 at 22:29