The Idiots' Gallery

By us, and any number of ill-mannered apes


Every now and again, someone takes exception to something we say on this site. Sometimes it's a reasoned analysis, sometimes it brings up something we hadn't considered before. We welcome these messages.

And then . . . and then . . .

Someone will send us something that goes straight to the Idiots' Gallery. Wherein you will find our replies to any of a variety of nonsense spouted in the name of . . . well, usually in the name of something that the Idiot in question can't articulate very well.

No, don't worry. We absolutely swear it that, if you just write innocently asking a question, you won't find yourself filleted on this webpage. While all e-mail sent to us becomes the property of 3rd WWWave, we have absolutely no intention of making anyone feel like a jerk just for asking a question. It takes something especially. . . malicious, clueless, and just plain stupid to wind up here. So go ahead and e-mail us. We're nice, really. And we're equal opportunity flamers as well. We don't single out men; if a woman sends us something particularly stupid, we're not likely to hold back.

Here's the latest installment, sent to us recently. It's a gem even among Idiot's Gallery posts.


Next up on the chopping block --

Date: Wed, 8 Nov 2000 22:29:41 -0500
Subject: [3rdwwwave] found your site for research

Dear sisters;
I clicked on your site looking for information on feminism for a school research paper. I am exploring BOTH SIDES of feminism. I am outraged by what I have found. My opinion and the point of to essay, is to explain the vast contrast in opinions, and how each extreme is harmful.

I guess I am a conservative, although I never thought that about myself before. I am overjoyed that I live in a time where I can reap the benefits of the sisters who have gone before me and vote, hold a job, and be treated as an intellectual equal. I have no compunction to prove myself to be a man. I love that I can have men carry the heavy things for me. I don't want to pull a muscle, though I do enjoy the gym. I love that men open doors for me to show me respect. It is a place of reverence, which is held for the CHILD BEARING of our species.

A few of my old-school friends refuse to let me lift anything over 10lbs., because they are afraid I might get a hernia and possibly damage my ability to bear children.

I laugh at men who act like Neanderthals. My friends and I (male and female), get a great laugh and would never give them the time of day. they are like performing monkeys. educated men know how to treat women as equal partners, without elevating themselves. In fact, they usually elevate the woman. I ENJOY THAT. Feminism is really ruining that for me. Men don't know what to do. I love the flowers and candy, the diamonds and financial help. Yet, because I come across as an empowered, educated, strong woman, they assume I am a feminist!! It seems idiotic to ASK them to give me gifts, flowers and the like, so I am left feeling like maybe I should act more like a "fluffy" girl to get the same treatment. The thought of being fluffy repulses me. It's all your fault!

Most of these feminist women are all anit-man anyway. Just call yourselves gay, get a sex-change or whatever would make you happy. I am quite content with being FEMININE. I love acting, "like a girl" when I go out. I love being a tomboy when I am home. I love being able to discuss issues with my friends and have them valued because I KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, not just because they "should".

I wish the extreme left and the extreme right would find a happy medium, and maybe come up with a new name, like functional adults with good self-esteem.

Thank you for the site, which is going in my paper as a great reason to be Anti-Feminist, and for your time, if you actually heard all I have had to say.


We get all kinds of criticism of our site-- trust me on this one. But we don't lambast just anyone who writes in to tell us that, sad to say, they have not chosen to be feminists. We don't expect the whole world to agree with us.

But this Idiot goes well beyond simple criticism. You see, this message was written by a man. He was incredibly stoooopid about it, too. He kindly used a regular Yahoo! account to email us, which allowed us to find his web page in about 0.87 seconds flat. Believe me, it was nothing worth looking at (and the guy's picture wasn't either).

[Aside: no, we don't go looking up everyone who writes to us; we have lives, you know? But this one was especially fishy-sounding-- and our suspicions proved correct.]

Criticism of this site is OK, but we do NOT tolerate this sort of deception-- especially from a man who poses as a woman in order to deliver his trite little speech about why feminism sucks. Research paper? Give us a break. You couldn't even come up with a better line than that?

Hey, asshole, what's the matter? Afraid to criticize feminists in your own voice? Can't stand up and say "I hate women" to our faces? Feel more comfortable pretending to be our outraged "sister"? Boy, I bet your psychologist can have a field day with this one.

And BTW, this is really typical behavior of anti-feminist men. They just love to target one woman or small group of women, then attack them by some private means like email while using a false identity, often female. It gives them the fantasy of control over the situation. They feel "safe" attacking women under cover, out of sight of their male buddies (and their girlfriend, of course). No one to judge him-- he can just do whatever he wants, acting out all his misogynistic fantasies.

How stupid do you think we are? It's quite clear who the Idiot here is.

Now let's go back and read this fine fellow's email again, knowing that it's from a guy, not a "sister." It's quite an eye-opener. The whole tone changes.

For instance, we now have such lovely thoughts as

I have no compunction to prove myself to be a man. I love that I can have men carry the heavy things for me. I don't want to pull a muscle, though I do enjoy the gym. I love that men open doors for me to show me respect. It is a place of reverence, which is held for the CHILD BEARING of our species... A few of my old-school friends refuse to let me lift anything over 10lbs., because they are afraid I might get a hernia and possibly damage my ability to bear children.
Oh, PLEASE. For those men out there who are completely clueless, you ought to know that some newborn babies weigh as much as 10 pounds. Yeah, like I'm really going to worry about my future ability to bear children when I'm lifting a 22-lb toddler. I suppose Mr. Gallant would volunteer to do all the childcare in his family, right?

But wait, there's more poetry to come:

educated men know how to treat women as equal partners, without elevating themselves. In fact, they usually elevate the woman. I ENJOY THAT. Feminism is really ruining that for me. Men don't know what to do.
Uh-huh, yup, right. It's this man's life that (he claims) feminism is "ruining." This sounds a wee bit personal, doesn't it? Did you recently get rejected by one of those evil, castrating, feminist bitches? You poor thing. What's a man to do?
It seems idiotic to ASK them to give me gifts, flowers and the like, so I am left feeling like maybe I should act more like a "fluffy" girl to get the same treatment. The thought of being fluffy repulses me. It's all your fault!
Ah, so we finally get to the point of this guy's problem. He doesn't know whether to give a woman flowers or candy. He probably has trouble knowing whether to open the door or not. And in the end, instead of acting like an adult and learning to, oh say, talk to women, he reverts to the frustrated 4-year-old exclamation of.... "It's all your fault!" (You can almost hear him kicking his heels, balling up his little fists, and sticking out his lower lip).

All our fault.

Never mind all the crap men have heaped on us for millennia. Now that they have the eeeensiest bit of doubt about whether to OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR, "it's all our fault."

As my chemistry teacher used to say, My heart bleeds purple Koolaid.

Grow up, guys! Why don't you start a conversation with women about how to have normal, adult relationships with us? That seems a little more, well, constructive than posing as a woman and flaming us over email. Just what was this silly little stunt supposed to accomplish, other than making you feel good for a few seconds after you hit "send"?

Sheesh. A True Idiot.


Other Idiot's Gallery Victims:


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