The Idiots' Gallery

By us, and any number of ill-mannered apes

Every now and again, someone takes exception to something we say on this site. Sometimes it's a reasoned analysis, sometimes it brings up something we hadn't considered before. We welcome these messages.

And then . . . and then . . .

Someone will send us something that goes straight to the Idiots' Gallery. Wherein you will find our replies to any of a variety of nonsense spouted in the name of . . . well, usually in the name of something that the Idiot in question can't articulate very well.

No, don't worry. We absolutely swear it that, if you just write innocently asking a question, you won't find yourself filleted on this webpage. While all e-mail sent to us becomes the property of 3rd WWWave, we have absolutely no intention of making anyone feel like a jerk just for asking a question. It takes something especially. . . malicious, clueless, and just plain stupid to wind up here. So go ahead and e-mail us. We're nice, really. And we're equal opportunity flamers as well. We don't single out men; if a woman sends us something particularly stupid, we're not likely to hold back.

Here's the latest installment, written in reply to some jackass -- you've got to read this one to believe it. Really. This one inspired such a fabulous riposte from Sidra that we're actually grateful to him for digging this one out of his schnozz and flicking it our way. We haven't laughed so hard in a while.

Next up on the chopping block --

On Fri, Mar 10, 2000 at 10:59:50AM -0800, Wolf wrote:
> From: Wolf 
> I scarcely think you ladies know just what you are "contributing" to
> society.  It is precisely this kind of mentality that has given rise to
> all the wars and mayhem in the world.  

Yes, it's true. I was responsible for the Punic Wars. I did that. That was me, so sorry. The October Revolution? That was me. The Khmer Rouge? Me. Pearl Harbor? Me. Guadalcanal? Me. The Great Wall of China was built to keep me out. I'm so embarrassed.

I mean, *talk* about PMS. Ugh.

> I sincerely hope that you will
> read the articles that I have provided to you at the end of this letter
> with open minds and a desire to enhance the well being of the entire
> world.  If you're going to spend time on a cause, you might as well make
> it a noble one.

This is almost worth reading, really. You rarely see such a perfect specimen as this. [the author blathers on considerably about good and evil being choices we make, then original sin, and the enmity between men and women as being the root of all other forms of enmity between other peoples.]

"... There is something about women. What did Freud say? "What does a woman 
want?" That's what he said, and he was a psychiatrist, a psychologist. Does 
anyone know what a woman wants? She herself doesn't even know what she wants. 
You can't put your finger on it. "

I want absolute power. Why is that so hard for people to understand? Do I need to say it in Esperanto?

"I'll tell you what she wants, what she needs, that is, and whether or not she 
wants it depends on her love of the good, both in herself and in her man. That
good in herself causes her to yearn to find the good in a man and mate with 
that good to bring forth beautiful children in a heaven-on-earth relationship.
When a woman is insecure, unwashed, her inclination is in the opposite 
direction. She hates men. Why? Her father failed her. Why? Her mother was not 
looking for the good in a man because she was jealous of man's superiority. Do
you not like that word "superiority." I can almost hear some of you screaming 
"male chauvinist pig" at me. But men have a role, and it is leadership. Then 
there is followership. There should be nothing wrong with the roles were it 
not for ego. The ego wants to be worshiped; it will serve only for its own 
benefit,not out of purity and love for the person it serves. It serves rather 
to weaken, enslave, and enable the wrong in a man. It serves in order to rule."

Y'know...I'd swear I've heard something like this tune before...hmmmm... the lyrics are so familiar....hmmmm...where could it have been? Oh! I know -- from male chauvinist schweinhunden!

What makes this author really dear to my heart is that he actually tangles with the argument about why do women feel ambition, the desire to control, to lead, if our place on God's Earth is to submit, to follow? It's all about free will, he says -- we have the choice to be godly or not. [oh, I think I just got all teary.]

Frankly, I think there's a bunch of bored deities sitting around the old gods home, with nothing better to do but watch and kibbitz The Human Show. We'll have to make sure our Nielsons for this millennium are as good as the last one.

Other Idiot's Gallery Victims:

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